can one miss their friends too much? i plead guilty.

yes, as you may think, this is a sappy entry. damn. a few hours ago, while insomnia was getting the best of me, i texted some of my highschool friends---friends that i haven’t seen for eons and eons. it just kicked in, depression. i’m like one of those octogenarians thrown in care houses who can help but be emotional every now and then.

i was especially feeling sullen and lonely because of one of my friends. she used to be very chummy with me. in our big group of friends, we were two of the ones who always had inside jokes, had secret smiles, had an esoteric understanding of the complexities of rurouni kenshin.

she has a special someone now. i can’t compete with that. my other friends tell me that she seldom joins the get-togethers. i’m happy that she seems to have found the guy that she has been wanting to have but damn, i miss my friend so dearly.

it’s unfair that i’m the only one looking for ways to reach her. when she changed her number, i was one of the last fucking people to know. she forgot to notify me. how’s that for friendship?

if only i saw the effort from her, pain wouldn’t flick me like this. this one of the small pinching truths we have. it may be too little to be significant but heck… it still does the damage.