alma mater comeback

the other day, i attended my niece's elementary graduation back at my alma mater in pasig city. the place has changed completely---ancient trees cut down for new buildings, old structures replaced with remodelled ones, a canteen and a kiosk gone missing, memories i had were now buried in the construction rubble. i spent my grade school and highschool life here, didn't i? though architecturally it was a place i've never been to before, the feeling was still there. i was, after all, the child she reared up and the familiar warmth of her comforting embrace after almost a decade is always mine to have.

the event lasted for almost three hours so my family and i sat amidst the school grounds, fanned by the cold evening air. i remember staying at school with my friends playing ball games and exhausting ourselves of funny classroom anecdotes. no other students were there at those times that we literally owned the whole school for ourselves. we roamed the corridors and sometimes we sat in a circle at the center of the school basketball court. it was indeed like a mystic seance of sorts and the magic was the bond that we've forged hard---tried and tested throughout these years.

as i listened thru my niece's commencement activity, there were times that i couldn't keep myself from closing my eyes and letting my skin bathe in the ambience of the night. the air is still full of memories, still full of the stuff of my not so distant adolescence, the feeling almost palpable.

summer getaway

the family has already started concocting summer plans though "where" is constantly the question to be answered. do we go to a relative's house which is situated among strawberry fields in baguio? should we stay at the mango farm in rizal and spend our afternoons on a picnic beside the crystal clear brook?

as long as the place isn't scorching hot and there is ample supply of water, i'm all good.

talking like me folks

sometimes, your old folks at home give stories of way back about their childhood and you roll your eyes at the comparison. you tell yourself that certainly it is different and it was almost frivolous to pit the past against the now. seems i ain't getting younger for i found myself doing that "ancient comparison talk" with my pre-adolescent niece a couple of times.

when i found her using the phone for hours...
[me]: (authoritative tone) "nakikipag-usap ka na naman sa phone?"
[niece]: (smiles sweetly) "sandali lang naman..." *i don't let my nieces use 'po' on me*
[me]: (weary) "nung pareho tayo ng edad di naman ako mahilig magbabad sa telepono tapos ikaw ganyan. kung sino-sino pa kausap mo jan. hindi ka pa teenager baka magka-boypren ka na agad nyan."

when she got home late after a half-day class...
[me]: (probing) "bakit gabi ka na naman umuwi? tv patrol na ah."
[niece]: (answers nicely) "stay lang kami sa bahay ng friend ko sa pasig eh."
[me]: "uli-uli, pag gagabihin ka, mag-text ka sa akin o kaya sa mama mo. sabihin mo kung anong oras ka uuwi at kung nasaan ka. nung ako naman dati sinasabi ko lahat sa kanila kung saan ako nagpupupunta."

when she brought home jollibee food...
[me]: (doubtful) "yan na ba yung burger steak?" *i never order burger steak*
[niece]: "di ko kasi maubos kanina kaya inuwi ko na."
[me]: (begins the deadly comparison) "grabe naman yan. ang liit! dati kasing lapad yang patty ng malaking rice tapos ngayon parang kalahati na lang. yung ispageti dati bente uno pesos lang ngayon trenta na."
[niece]: (laughs) "para ka namang si lolo!"
[me]: "ha?" (pauses for a moment) "oo nga! nakakairita nga pag ganun yun!" (giggles together with niece then stops) "hmm..." (frowns)

bits and pieces

i've visited my throne a few couple of times and i thought of a hefty amount of things over. i'm no sage of life but i think i may have gotten a few lessons and quasi-factoids twisted and customized to suit me. here are some...

never risk giving something which isn't wanted. initiative isn't always the name of the game. expecting someone to tag you as an "acquired taste" is romantic, even heroic, at the start but when time drags on, these adjectives wear down their use. in the end it just morphs into an endurance test of the delusional.

you may actually mean what you say one moment then realize its effing stupidity a few knocks on the head later. don't be too caught in the spur of the moment. when you speak out your thoughts and feelings, you enter into an irreversible contract with the cosmos. contrary to popularly optimistic belief, not everything can be undone. sometimes wounds don't heal and the pain can only be made dull.

depression is the muse of sad text quotes. ever wondered how these sappy pathetic sms messages came about? wallow in loneliness then put hold a mobile phone in your hand.

people don't come with puppet strings attached to them. don't be a friggin' control freak. the only life that you truly hold is your own. you have no business manning other people's timons. though it may be surprising to know, people act of their own volition from time to time and you can't do anything about it. their yellow brick roads don't always lead to your direction.

the thing that punctures more than uttered words are unspoken truths. amen.

wish

i wanna die.

the cr chronicles

chilling out in the cr just before the witching hour, contemplating about your life is... spiritual.

no, there will be no talk of libido or of bodily desires that needed to be quenched. it's just plain life reflections done while sitting on (not using) the toilet.

the comfort room has always been one of my most favorite spots in the house. whenever i'm extremely mad at somebody, whenever i am in bliss or whenever i feel like my life's melodrama is putting to shame the local teledramas, i go to the bathroom mirror. i just stand there looking at myself, sometimes even speaking to it---that isn't lunacy. i will appreciate it better if you term that as soliloquy.

i then sit on the covered toilet bowl and stare at the ceramic tiles that suit the small room like albino scales of a reptile. i stay like that and thoughts just sift through my head. i get most of my good ideas there. therapeutic.

what's with the cr, you ask? i could always lock myself up like a sardine inside my room but there's a little extra something in the cr. it's accessible by everybody of the house and when you board in it, it's a petty privilege of being the royalty inside your minute court. you own it. it is yours.

i usually do my cr soulsearching during the wee hours of the night. you must understand that there are a good number of people crammed in our bungalow so the time when all of them are frolicking their way to dreamland is one of the better instances when i can have the house to myself. i enter my kingdom and get entertained by my loyal subjects of water dippers and used soaps.

my reign ends when someone raps at the door for an early morning piss.

who you?

changing sims is such a taxing job. this is one of the few times that i regret knowing too many people.

i started this task about four hours ago but have just finished relocating all the people's numbers from my old phone book into this new one i acquired. whew! it's dizzying and it ain't no tall tale when i say that i got an awful headache due to this. my brain was nothing more than a primordial goo of swirling numbers.

after having done the copying part, i immediately texted each and every name on my phone book, letting them know about my change of number. i got a few acknowledgment texts from some generous friends and some charity text quotes to fill in my new inbox. i have good friends.

are you in the habit of erasing people from your phone book? unfortunately for me, i found out that some of these people in my list have a knack for such. i received a few "who you?" texts from people i didn't expect to hear that from.

if you happen to save this new number of mine and you get a "who you?" from me but you don't remember changing your number, it maybe due to the fact that i deleted you from my new list. phone book memory isn't a good resource to waste.

i'm in damned heat

it's scorching these past days! my nieces and i have been keeping our friendly neighborhood's halo-halo stand in good business for we are her constant patrons, ordering at least three goblets everyday.

the heat is delirious! when i close my eyes i could almost envision myself in those old west flicks, donning cowboy hats and getting into a high noon duel at high noon every other day.

where is baguio when you need it!