:: raced against time... but i lost ::

time for me



markie. piscean. spaghetti addict. anime freak. gibberish writer. obsessive compulsive. music-driven. melancholic poet. unrequited romantic. professional bum. yakult baby. crash test dummy. ice_wolf.

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Sunday, April 18, 2004

breaking the hiatus

after almost a month of hibernation from the blogging world, i'm finally back. i changed the layout so most of the people who complained about not seeing anything on my blog would be relieved. i guess the problem was brought about by my blocking of the blogger ad thingy. also, i realized that i should be thankful to blogger.com, hence, the pulling up of the ad in this new layout.

of family affairs and laguna

the other day, i returned from our family's vacation at los banos, laguna. admittedly, it was one fun endeavor for me since i got to be with, for a day and a half, people other than my immediate family.

you must know that my family isn't so keen on attending family reunions. actually, the whole clan isn't so giddy about these functions for i've never heard of and gone to a single one since i was a kid. hey, at least we won't be gunning people down because of a clan war soon.

bless you, pleasant cabbies!

my sister hailed a taxi going to novaliches, the meeting point of the our party going to laguna. my sister was well-prepared for a "contractual fare-paying" from the cab driver but we were surprised that he was nice enough to base it all on his trusty meter.

amidst the trip, he started an interesting chitty-chat with my sister to entertain himself. i gladly eavesdropped to the occasion.

he was a nice man. he schooled his five kids to college with his meager earnings from driving the cab day in, day out. even though some of his children already have families of their own, every so often they still run for his help whenever finances blink the red lights. he was a man of hard work and dedication to his family. he never did finish highschool but he persevered to make his kids get their college diplomas.

you'll never know the real value of money unless you hear it from people who value every cent they toiled for. a thousand pesos is something that he earns in two days. a thousand pesos in in two days... i could easily spend that amount of money in a snap on buying low-priced branded clothes at the powerplant or on ordering overpriced french fries and such on a bar in makati or on renting an airconditioned "members only" badminton court in alabang!

one thing he said struck a nerve of truth on me: "kung nakikita nyo kaming nagpapakahirap sa pagta-trabaho, kaya ganun kasi hindi kami nakapag-aral. kaya nga kami nagpapagod sa tapusin ang pag-aaral nyo para mas malaki ang pagkakataon nyo na di matulad sa amin."

when we arrived at our destination, i asked my sister to slip in a little extra tip for the kind man. still, that small amount wouldn't equal to the insights on life i got from that short hour drive to novaliches.

the kiddie playground van

i was assigned to stay on the van where my beloved niece (the younger one, not the older phone-hogging one) was at, together with her two cousins who were of the same age as hers.

it was a riot inside! though the trip lasted quite long because of the lunch hour traffic, all of the older bunch of people were amused with the little kids and their antics.

my niece's two cousins were a bit rowdy. there were also a few times that i heard innocent-sounding yet foul word slip from their mouths. that couldn't be helped since their mothers weren't so cautious on unleashing expletives even if the kids are around.

my niece was nothing like them. she kidded with them a lot but she was well-mannered and was all-smiles. she always gave me a look of disapproval whenever she hears one her cousins speak unsoaped words. even if no one was looking, she would be the one to tell her two other nieces if what they were doing was any good. nifty, considering she's the youngest of the three.

my sister taught her well. i taught her well. i'm damned proud.

let the swimfest begin

the laguna swim place named makiling highlands was a snazzy nook. highlands? i got it. it reminded me of "the banawe rice terraces meets splash island" because the location, with its slides and numerous pools, was terrained into levels.

since it was just about after lunch when we arrived there, it was so hot! everybody had the urge to jump in the pool but the hunger was more powerful than the unbearable heat and the inviting pools.

it was a munch marathon of anything grilled! we had barbecued chicken, grilled hotdogs, grilled fish and then some. to be on the defense here, the smell of chlorine makes you go hungrier than the usual. case and point.

the sun was on full blast so i decided to just chill out in the aircon room and watch television till early on in the evening. ain't i the ideal happening vacationist?

immediately, after the sun was in hiding, i geared on and toured the pools of the place and swam to the death with my niece till the late hours of the night. we basically had the entire swimplace to ourselves. apparently, not too many people knew of it. good, good. before we headed off to our quarters, my sister and i, together with the older bunch dipped ourselves crazy in the hot springs.

ahh! looking up a word to describe the hot springs feeling... orgasmic! we soaked ourselves for almost two hours there till our skins were that of california raisins. that night, i slept so soundly, feeling my muscles and shins got the pampering they deserved.

the morning after, we were all surprised to see that a lot of people were already splashing around the pool. as it turns out, the incumbent mayor of laguna was throwing a supposedly "free swimming treat para sa kabataan", who were, surprise, young voters. i'm assuming that he has more than sufficient money to fund this "act of good will". so much for bitchy political comments.

we only booked ourselves a day and a half, so we packed up come afternoon. we bought massive chunks of pasalubong of espasol, buko pies, galletas and some laguna wood works.

it's fun. it's summer.

bottled mologues - series 1

you were never mine but now, someone else owns you. it's been quite a while that i prepared myself for this. i've been weaving scenes in my head, been planning retorts that were apt for the thing that we have. the real thing is far from suppositions.

you were a bit hesitant at first. i knew in my gut that this was it---the moment you were going to tell me about a someone.

when you told me about it, it was a shot in the heart. my hands were clammy and my feet were cold. every word i heard from your mouth had a fang that pierced me. it was finally here. you've found that someone who could make you happy. you've seen the someone who was everything that i am yet nothing that i could be.

the happiness in your voice was undeniable. when i commented about that, you checked yourself and denied it. you have always been like that, cautious of me being hurt, careful in handling my feelings. for the first time, i veiled what was in my heart. i wanted you to be happy. i was hurt but knowing that the audible joy in your voice was an effect i could never pull with you, i had to give way.

though i said i was all fine about it, you still felt the sadness in my words. you always knew me this well. you tried to comfort me by reiterating to me how our friendship meant to you. double-edged sword, that's what it is. i knew how important a friend i am to you... i will always be that kind of friend but never will you look at me the way i do to you.

i can't count the number of times i tried to get over you. i tried hard but whenever i hear your voice, my alloyed will just melts down into a lake of surrender.

i want to know everything about the two of you. when you'll be official, what places you go to, what the other likes in you, the jokes you throw to each other, the clandestine stares whenever you talk over mugs of coffee, the way you feel when you're around each other... i pray these things will sink to my being. sorrow shall be my guiding light to move on.

even if you've found the life i found in you with someone else, i'm okay. i have to be okay for i am a good friend. i will be okay.

time stamped at 12:30:00 PM



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