the wait

a few hours back, i saw a mcdonald's plug which has something to do with valentine's day. its focus was the ronald mcdonald lifesize "statue" that you always see inside most if not every fastfood branch of theirs. night and day it sits there, seemingly waiting for something. the screen goes black and then the text shows, "waiting in vain on valentines day..." or something to that effect.

late night yesterday, i was alone watching cable---alone that everybody in our house was already in their rooms and i was there, cuddled by the couch, taking my chances, hoping that a good television show was there for me to enjoy.

it's got nothing to do with the humongous shoes nor with the yellow and red-white stripes ensemble, it hit me hard---i'm one of the ronald mcdonalds of the world.

for some time now, it seems that i'm having this endless waiting in vain for my someone. for the second time in my life, i thought i'd finally be able to end this "search", only to find out that i made hapless hasty conclusions. i was just patronizing myself, digging up joy amidst all of these. it was just me, blindfolded, tagging myself along for the ride.

a friend asked me, "how can you find that person when you've already settled for something that isn't even real?". now that i've given it some thought, i know there's truth to what he said.

it's one big solitary waiting shed for me... and everyday as i realize the minute differences between the person then and the person now, it strikes me cold---i am still alone, waiting... hopefully not in vain.

people are people, change is inevitable

it can't be helped. sometimes people don't notice breaking the words uttered in the past. sometimes they sincerely think it's for the better. sometimes they don't notice that they're slowly morphing into somebody else.

why am i always stuck with who i am? why don't i change like the people in my life?